


Soundless Words

by Turacoverdin



Category: Re:ゼロから始める異世界生活 | Re:Zero Starting Life in Another World (Anime)
Genre: Abuse of italics, Author Loves Comments, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, F/M, Gen, Invasion of Privacy, Pre-Arc 4, Telepathy, ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 17:13:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29139096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Turacoverdin/pseuds/Turacoverdin
Summary: Here’s the thing: Otto’s divine protection is really, really simple.It’s communicating with animals. That’s it. He can hear their thoughts, and nudge them a bit, and that’s it. It’s simple.The problem is that thoughts are not simple.The bigger problem is that humans are animals, too.Otto's divine protection is both more simple and more complex than it first appears, and things very quickly get messy.
Comments: 17
Kudos: 106





	Soundless Words

Here’s the thing: Otto’s divine protection is really, really simple.

It’s communicating with animals. That’s it. He can hear their thoughts, and nudge them a bit, and that’s it. It’s simple.

The problem is that thoughts are not simple. Even insects and fish have layers to their thoughts—the top ones, for reactions, and the bottom ones, for memories and learning, and the ones even below that, for all the little things like movement and sensations and the triggers for big physical changes. The smarter animals—the domesticated ones, often—are even worse, with all their emotions and bonds and loyalty.

The bigger problem is that humans are animals, too.

Humans are the worst! They’re self-contained, at least, which is nice because they think like riptides. If Otto had been able to latch onto humans’ thoughts when he was younger, he would have been swept away. Or maybe he’s already been swept away and “Otto” is the result of the thoughts of other people and animals crammed into one tiny vessel. Otto doesn’t like to think about that possibility much.

Otto doesn’t really like to listen to humans in general. He avoided it even before he swore off using his protection. It was only after he’d gone off to be a merchant that he actively tried to use it, and even then he’d only dip into people’s minds, just skimming surface-level thoughts. Even if privacy wasn’t an issue, Otto wouldn’t do anything more, because bleedthrough sinks into Otto with just the tiny bits of other’s thoughts that he gets. People have so many layers that Otto would be sucked under in mere moments, and he doesn’t think he could flail free.

The point is: Otto’s divine protection is kind of crazy, and Otto knows crazy.

Once Otto’s been rescued from his witch-cult-induced kidnapping, he does some thinking. Well. Not really. He does a lot of internal screaming. But after all the internal screaming, and after the whole shebang with the witch cult guy and all the rich knight people, Otto does some thinking, and so does everyone else.

And Otto, of course, thinks that he should probably see what everyone else is thinking, because there are a lot of new people and if he’s going to be helping them out, he should probably know what they’re like, right?

Wrong. So, so, wrong. Emilia seems nice enough—her thoughts are all _can I really?_ and _is he okay?_ and _what’s going on?_ and _is this my fault?_ She’s soft and quiet like falling snow, with great cracks echoing beneath, and just as almost-pristine. So. Not quite good, exactly, but Otto’s been reading people’s thoughts long enough to know that no one’s good, not completely. At least he knows now that she’s not secretly Satella or something, because that would be bad. Unless she is and she knew that he was listening so she manipulated his thoughts. That would be really bad. There’s nothing Otto can really do about that, though, so even if that’s what is happening—which it probably isn’t—Otto would just have to act normal.

Her bleedthrough isn’t too bad, as long as Otto stays mindful, which is nice. It’s just a little bit of extra frosted-pane shatter and repetition in Otto’s mind, which he doesn’t mind. His thoughts are coming to him a bit sideways and refracting around in a few different hues. He feels a bit alien, but he pays it no mind. It’s probably because she’s bound to a spirit. For some reason, a person’s connections to spirits tends to affect Otto’s protection.

Otto knows shouldn’t be dipping into people’s thoughts like he’s doing now, because he’s guiding a carriage, but the ground-dragon knows the way and Otto’s a bit annoyed at himself because he didn’t do this earlier, before he decided to go with a bunch of shady strangers. Otto also knows that he’s not supposed to be dipping into people’s thoughts because of privacy, but he’s doing it to make sure that no one’s going to kill him or cheat him or lie to him, so it’s fine.

Subaru is the one Otto’s most curious about, because he dipped into his thoughts earlier, just a little bit, and he didn’t make much sense. He almost drowned Otto—which is a weird metaphor, but one that’s accurate. And that’s happened before, the almost-drowning thing, when Otto was stressed or the other person had atypical connections to spirits. Otto’s gotten better at the whole mind-reading thing, though, so it hasn’t really happened since he started skimming through those surface-level thoughts on purpose, way back when he became a merchant. But Otto was really stressed at the time, mostly because of the whole kidnapping thing and a little bit because of all the rich people, so he thinks that he dipped a little too deep. That makes sense.

But—this here is the part that doesn’t make sense—Subaru had recognized him. He’d been all _oh it’s him again_ and _nice to see he’s not dead_ and _hey he can be useful_ and then Otto’d been sucked under to a blur of _mist_ and _choking_ and _tumbling_ and _snapping_ and _snapping and snapping and—_

So, yeah, Otto hadn’t been super eager to check out Subaru again, even when he was really really curious. Not even when Subaru had been fighting the lead witch cultist—and Otto’d been smart enough to steer clear of his mind, thank you very much—and not even when—when—hm. That’s about it, isn’t it? Otto hasn’t really interacted with Subaru beyond that. Why did he think he had?

Bleedthrough, probably, from Emilia. Or from Subaru, but that was a long time ago, so probably not. It’s hard to keep his thoughts straight. Otto had just been thinking about that, hadn’t he, right? Right. That’s it.

Anyways, Otto’s sitting at the front of the carriage and he can feel Subaru’s mind and it only takes a tiny bit of effort to sidle in. Less effort than he was expecting, actually—everything clicks very nicely, which Otto has never really experienced before. He must be getting better at using his blessing. That’s nice.

_—likes me, but she probably doesn’t actually, and she definitely doesn’t love me—I love you, Emilia, please—which is good, which is supposed to happen. Rem likes me. Why does she like me?_ Subaru's thinking, distracted and not fully focused. 

It’s cluttered, which Otto was expecting, because nobody can ever keep their thoughts straight. Otto certainly can’t. The people with words in their thoughts are the hardest, surprisingly, because their words get looped and stuck as they jolt from place to place on pathways that Otto can’t dive deep enough to see. Well. He can dive deep enough to see, but he’d rather not, because then he’d drown.

The people who use pictures or captions or sounds or concepts aren’t exactly easier, because their thoughts go by so fast and so subtle that Otto’ll miss their meaning if he’s not paying attention, but at least Otto’s used to it, because that’s how he thinks. The people who use words tend to get stuck and think things they don’t mean, and it’s annoying. He takes one more little peak at the surface-level stuff—

_she’s dead, have you forgotten? No. No, I never forget. It’d probably be easier if I did, huh? No. She’s not dead._

—before dragging his attention away. Otto tries to save the privacy violations until they’re fully necessary. Also, Subaru's clearly not in a super great headspace, and Otto doesn't want invite any bleedthrough of that. Instead of digging deeper, Otto’ll just make sure his name is on the surface. It’s time to rudely interrupt someone else’s conversation!

“You called?” Otto says grandly, sticking his head into the apartment.

 _Otto,_ Subaru thinks, then, _wow his hair is still weird. He looks like George Washing—washing machine? What was his name again? I probably should have paid more attention in middle school, or high school. Not that I really attended high school, I guess._

“No we didn’t,” says Subaru rudely. _But if he’s here—_ “But if you’re here, do you mind answering a question? Why are you coming with us?” Otto blinks, a bit taken aback. It’s his turn to be interrogating Subaru, not the other way around. “I wanted to—”

Subaru’s thoughts are still running, and Otto’s having some trouble picking himself out of them. _He looks a bit weird, doesn’t he? Like, he’s making a strange expression. He did this last time, didn’t he? On that loop when—_

_When—_

_—man, that loop was embarrassing. I’m kinda glad—definitely glad—that no one can remember. Hah. No, I’m not. He’s still making that weird face, isn’t he?_

Otto probably is. He should stop. He could send in a whisper of thought to direct Subaru’s mind to a more easily understandable place, because he’s not understanding any of this, but that’s even more morally questionable than what he’s doing now. Otto only really does that with animals. He starts to try and untangle himself from Subaru’s mind. It’s strangely difficult. The thoughts blaze and _haze-burn_ and _echo_ at him and he wants them to _go away_ but _they won’t please stop why—_

“I was going to ask Roswaal—” Otto starts to say, trying to ground himself, to wrench himself out of that daze. His brain feels like it’s frying, a little bit. This is some really bad bleedthrough, _ain’t_ it? _Ain’t_? That's not a word Otto uses. Subaru thinks, _Oh, he’s trying to sell the oil, isn’t he?_ and Otto immediately wonders how he knew about that. “Yes, I wanted to ask him to employ me temporarily, or to buy all the oil.”

“Oil?” Emilia asks, blinking her _pretty_ eyes.

“Yes?” Subaru says—echoes.

“Hm?” Otto gives Subaru a completely and totally benign and innocent _don’t look at me, nothing to see here, no siree, everything’s fine, I’m not a mindreader I promise_ look. “Yes, oil,” he starts to explain to Emilia.

 _That look had some telepath vibes,_ Subaru thinks. Otto hisses and tries harder to jolt away. Why is this so difficult? “Hey! Wait a second! What was with that look?” Subaru demands, pointing a finger at Otto.

“What look?” Otto denies, only a little desperately. “I don’t know what look you’re talking about. You shouldn’t accuse innocent, non-telepathic merchants of such things. You’re besmirching my honor. Someone could get mad and eat you. Beat you.” What’s Otto saying? Seriously, what’s he saying? This is the worst denial Otto’s ever heard, and he’s the one saying it. _Non-telepathic_? What does that even mean?

“It’s just the bleedthrough hahaha I’m normally much better put together,” Otto convinces himself, definitely internally. “Everything is fine hahaha.” Except normally he doesn’t think in words, so he’s not very convinced. Wait, he’s not thinking at all, is he? Oh no. Also, why’s he saying the word _haha_? Who says the word _haha_? That’s just weird and suspicious.

“Bleedthrough?” Subaru sits back. He’s projecting complete and utter _used car salesmen confidence._ What’s a _used car salesmen_? Otto doesn’t know. That’s the bleedthrough, too. Otto’s stuck in the weird in-between spot between his thoughts and Subaru’s, and he’s so, so hazy. Why is this happening? “You’re totally not an innocent, non-telepathic merchant.”

“I said that out loud?” Otto says, horrified, speaking over the voices in his head. In Subaru’s head.

“Yes you did, you guilty telepathic—wait.” Subaru stares hard at Otto. “You’re not a telepath, are you? You’re not, right? Those don’t exist, right? That’s just some superhero BS. That’s not real.”

“Telepath?” Emilia looks confused. “What’s a telepath?”

“What is a telepath?” Otto asks himself. He frowns. Why’d _he say he wasn’t a telepath if he didn’t know what a telepath was? Man,_ this is some bad bleedthrough. Wait, who thought those last lines?

“Why’d you say you weren’t a telepath if you don’t know what a telepath is?” Subaru asks accusingly. “You’re a telepath. Admit it.”

“I don’t know what I’d be admitting to.”

 _A telepath is a mind-reader—someone who can hear or see or understand other’s thoughts,_ he knows.

“Why’s it called a telepath, then? Why not just a mind-reader?” Otto asks, curious despite himself. “Wait, no—”

“Hah! You are a telepath!” Subaru crows. He stops abruptly. “Oh shit you’re a telepath.”

“Is this what normal friendship is like?” Emilia wonders aloud. _Aw,_ she’s _so sweet._

“Probably not,” Subaru and Otto say at the same time.

 _If he’s a telepath does he know about—can he know about return by return by death?_ Subaru’s thoughts skip like a _broken record._

“ _Return by_ what,” repeats Otto, because that seems important. Or, at least, he tries to repeat it, but Subaru’s lunging over to him and shoving his hand over his mouth and thinking so fast and so loud that Otto’s ears are ringing and his vision is spotting _static_ purple-black. The feeling’s familiar, but the familiarity isn’t Otto’s.

_—she’s going to hear she’s going to he’ll be static stasis hey isn’t that a thing from that one video game shut up Subaru she’s going to grab-choke-dead he needs to stop she’s going to it’s all going to you’re going to have to reset again she’s—_

“Sorry,” squeaks out Otto, frozen in _stasis, like from that one video game, except that’s yellow and this isn’t._ “ _She_?” The blotches in his vision are getting larger, devouring, drowning, _I don’t want him to die._

“ _Get out of my head_ ,” he snarls, Subaru snarls, and his thoughts scream in tandem with his words for a split second before they separate and roil and rage. Subaru’s panicking and now Otto’s panicking, too, and he can’t tell who’s who. This is familiar, too, from deeper memories, memories that aren’t his— _it’s too loud I can’t think Julius did something why is this punishment I can’t think that bastard please make it stop I can’t—_

He squeezes his eyes shut, probably, or maybe the darkness does it for him. He’s floating, adrift in a sea of nothing, and for a split second he’s doused in icy-cold, barbed clarity, and then there’s nothing and he’s nothing and he’s everything, and then he wakes up.

Otto’s sitting at the front of the carriage. The ground dragon chirps at him, and Otto doesn’t need to read her thoughts to know her concern.

“What..?” Otto croaks out, blinking. He feels like he’s just woken up from a nightmare. He feels like he’s just been forcibly jolted out of sleep paralysis. Did any of that happen? Was it all just a terrifying dream?

 _That was trippy,_ Otto thinks, except Otto’s never thought in words, and he doesn’t know what _trippy_ means, so that’s probably bleedthrough from—from—

Otto shuts down his divine protection hard, like slamming a door. He makes an executive decision to stay out of Subaru’s head. Otto stares blankly ahead and tries very, very hard not to think.

**Author's Note:**

> if someone else would like to use this idea, please do so; i'm sure other renditions would be much more coherent than this.
> 
> feedback and constructive criticism is very welcome!


End file.
